In anticipation of the 2012 Oscars, we’re counting down the top five most memorable sets of movie teeth. It’s true that plenty of Hollywood A-listers have award winning smiles and that having good teeth is generally a prerequisite for stardom. But we aren’t looking for “good teeth,” we’re on the hunt for “memorable teeth.” And the most memorable teeth aren’t often the ones we want to look at for very long. They’re the chompers of dentists’ nightmares and the delight of filmmaker’s terrifying imaginations.
5. T-Rex (Jurassic Park) – Starting off at the top of our list is the t-rex from the original, 1993 Jurassic Park. While the velociraptors may be the scariest dinosaurs in Spielberg’s movie, the t-rex is undoubtedly the most iconic. With her teeth alone, the t-rex manages to eat the obnoxious lawyer off the porta-potty (good riddance), nearly chomp down on Dr. Hammond’s grandchildren and completely destroy one of the Jurassic Park jeeps. Hats off to you, t-rex!
4. Count Orlok (Nosferatu) – Obviously a vampire has to be on this list somewhere. Blood-sucking incisors aren’t easily forgotten and they’ve been around in movies since the early 20th century. While recent vampires in Twilight and Let Me In have some pretty memorable bites, the award for best vampire teeth goes to Count Orlok from Fritz Lang’s 1922 silent film Nosferatu. While some of the special effects aren’t quite as convincing as they used to be, Count Orlok (played by Max Schreck) is still one of the creepiest vampires around. Accomplishments with his teeth include: terrifying the Transylvanian countryside, feeding off the protagonist twice and murdering a boatful of sailors.
3. Julia Roberts (Every Film) – Now, we know we said that good teeth probably wouldn’t make this list… but Julia Roberts is the exception. Her beautiful, full teeth have dazzled audiences and melted hearts for the past twenty years. Her smile caught Richard Gere’s attention once in Pretty Woman, then again in Runaway Bride. It saved California’s water supply in Erin Brockavich and thrilled multiple cultures in Eat, Pray, Love. We, at least, are pretty impressed.
2. Jaws (Moonraker & The Spy Who Loved Me) – Long before Julia Roberts ever smiled for American audiences, there was Jaws, the hulking, metal-mouthed giant of the James Bond series. While other Bond villains had their own memorable quirks, Jaws is by-far the best villain that the franchise ever produced. Roger Moore can get old after a weekend-long Bond marathon, but Jaws never loses his charm. With his teeth he bites through wood, hurts Bond’s hand after a punch (a real accomplishment) and chews through a cable.
1. The Shark (Jaws) – What other pair of teeth could spawn three sequels and win three Oscars? The great white in Jaws singlehandedly elevated its species to stardom. He’s been the irrational fear creeping up behind millions of bathers worldwide and probably has a lot to do with the success of Shark Week. Some of his teeth accomplishments include: eating a nude bather, ruining a summer tourist season and sinking a large boat. If it hadn’t been for that scuba tank, who knows that else he could’ve accomplished!